Posted in relationships

“The List”…….?


So, the title of this blog post either got you excited or struck fear into your soul…..If the latter, you’re probably a guy, and if the former, you’re more than likely a girl. BUT, this post is for EVERYONE. And I’m about to debunk the LIST. 

In a Christian arena full of hormonal teenagers, what is one of the most buzzed about topics of this generation? “The List”. I’m not sure when this started, or really, why it started in the first place, but what I want to know so badly, is why  it caught on so quickly…And why in the world did it get so….So… Necessary?

Not familiar with the list? It goes something like this:

  1. Patient
  2. Kind
  3. Wise with money
  4. Great with kids
  5. Still a virgin
  6. Loyal
  7. Content
  8. Loves God
  9. Forgiving
  10. Sense of humor
  11. Wise
  12. Bold

And the list goes on and on and 0n…..

Now, I know what you are probably thinking…These “lists” are very key to praying and preparing for your future spouse, to plan out what you really need and have an answer when someone is interested in you. I get it! It’s totally legitimate. BUT, are the run-on lines needed to craft a Christ-centered marriage? If we don’t have a list, are we clueless as to how or what we’re looking for a mate? No. And here’s why:

I’ve come to the realization (after much pondering and thinking), that almost every single quality on these lists, can be made a whole lot more simple.

Pray that your future husband/wife will be Godly. That’s it. If someone is totally committed to the Kingdom, lives for nobody but God, and truly strives to be more and more like Jesus every day, I’m pretty sure that covers all the bases.

Now, like I said, making these lists and praying for certain character qualities is NOT  bad thing, as a matter of fact, I have a list…And I strive to grow in each of the things I’m praying my husband will have.

But I honestly think it boils down to this: Don’t get obsessed with lists, but pray daily that your future spouse will become more and more like Christ.

That’s it! Pray for patience and kindness, but remember, it’s all about being Christ-LIKE, NOT perfect.


Keep the conversation going! What do you think about “The List”? Do you think it’s a bit overrated? Let me know what you think in the comments, I’d love to chat with you! 



Jesus lover, beauty seeker, avid reader, passionate writer.

4 thoughts on ““The List”…….?

  1. I personally have a list I pray over my future husband with, because I believe in intentional prayer :) I absolutely agree that we should pray for godliness… you’re so right!… but I pray for specific things in my future husband.. things I know I struggle with as well… because he could struggle with them as well. Of course I don’t know him, so I don’t know what particular things he struggles with… but I love to pray for things like patience… to guard his heart & mind… to be wise in his decisions… etc… so I can specifically pray for him to grow in God. It also helps me to strive to develop these qualities in myself to glorify God. :)


  2. I do not think lists are overrated, and yes, I have one. The main reason I really like it: when I meet a guy and start to consider him in that light (like, hmm, is this the kind of guy I want to marry someday?), it’s WAY too easy to just mold your standards to him. If you and your parents have a preexisting list (which, granted, the list is more like worldview topics, characteristics, and such, and less “wise, virgin, etc.”), you can objectively view how this guy really will measure up to what you need in a lifelong best friend.

    But this is very good, and thought-provoking. And… I’ve gotta say… Even though “Godly” is number one… if there’s no sense of humor, it would never work. ;)


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